Content Warning: Raw Human Experience.
Two years into a pandemic is more than enough for even the strongest among us to break down. Inadequate support from governments. Unchecked algorithms pushing many of our loving and compassionate community down misinformation pipelines of fear, mistrust, and hyper-individualism aligning them with white supremacists and other extremists. Losing friends and family to stark differences in ideology, death, or just plain dangerous levels of ignorance. It's enough to make you want to give up. I wanted to. At one point in an autistic meltdown, I was literally kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs at 6am that I wanted to die after yet another night of watching a love of my life scream in agony for hours on end because her body can't hold itself together and the medical system mismanaged her. I couldn't take any more of the unbelievable selfishness, stupidity, and arrogance of humans who prioritize their inconveniences over the well-being of vulnerable people, the planet, and even themselves while I'm working 24/7 to bring a woman I love back to health for 2 years.
I am privileged to be held in those spaces by two partners who support me and bring me back to a sense of safety when I feel lost and I do my best every day to bring what joy I can to the world and create changes where I can. This is all we can do. We have to support each other as best we can, but fighting to find peace and safety in the death throes of capitalist colonialism is exhausting. Some days are better than others and we need to hold on to all that glitters to manifest the future that we deserve. The world is super hard right now, but we can make it better if we work together towards positive solutions.
This mix series follows my journey to the depths of my despair. A path from grief and hopelessness to understanding and renewed empowerment. When we fall we peer deeply into the intricacies of the world's failings, but bouncing back from that perspective makes us stronger, wiser, and more capable to challenge them. The lessons we learn from our darkest places give us the tools to burst out of our comfort zones and make the changes to our inner and outer worlds that we didn't know we needed.
Raw, emotional, and unexpected journeys through cascading feelings of trying our best and watching as things continue to get worse. All the while desperately grasping at hope, taking deliberate steps to create the fortitude to cultivate acceptance, and utilizing moments of peace to propagate the resolve to move forward. My hope is that listening to this mix will help you release the emotions you've held onto, crying the tears that needed to be released as I did while making it, and inspiring you to move that energy into a place of power and growth to create new beginnings.
This mix is about showing up. Showing up for yourself, your loved ones, your community, and the world. Take a small step towards the light at the end of the tunnel any chance you get and know that every time you work towards a brighter future it gets closer to you. Not just for you, but for the people around you who are inspired by your light and more that will gravitate towards that energy. Fight for what you believe in, even if it means you have to fight people you love. The world will only be free of bad ideas when good ones drown them out and make more sense. Genius does not exist without the wisdom to use it. And you will only know your genius when you push yourself out of your comfort zones. So just keep pushing. You will break through your walls more and more with each passing day if you make just one small step. That's all it takes. It doesn't have to be a lot. Just show up. Do one tiny thing and see where it takes you. It may not always go anywhere, but you'll be surprised how often it does. Eventually, you'll get there. It's just science.